Love Letter
by FallenInDreams
Summary: "How could I not notice you? How could I not love you?" We never know what we need until we think we can't have it. GaaSaku.


Just a weird little mildly angsty one-shot I really wanted to share. Really weird.

Enjoy. ^_^

.:.

" _We fear the thing we want the most." – Robert Anthony_

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Sakura Haruno peeked around the last corner, eyes darting about to make sure she was alone before inching into the hallway. She wasn't supposed to be here. Not yet, anyway. It was too early. The senior locker hallway was open but if anyone found her in here right now… actually, she didn't care. They could all go to hell.

Nobody was supposed to return to their lockers until after the graduation ceremony and misty-eyed congratulations from adoring family members. Clearing the lockers was supposed to be a part of the graduation post-ceremony rituals. It was just a tradition in this godforsaken school.

But it was fine. Sakura had no-one to celebrate her graduation with, anyway. The celebrations were almost over, and the other students were mingling with their friends, not to mention family members who actually turned up for the whole thing.

' _Lucky bitches.'_

Her own mother was busy working, her dad having left them six months ago for his secretary; there was no-one else. So, she was early. She didn't care. She didn't want to go back out there. She was not going to be hugging it out with her so-called friends and making promises to stay in touch – promises she had no intention of keeping. Except for a small handful of people, she never wanted to see any of those people again.

' _I'm bitter.'_

She was definitely bitter. This last year had been hell; her break-up with Sasuke Uchiha had not only ruined her social standing, but devastated her emotionally. Her haters had certainly given her reason to wish herself dead. Or at least badly hurt. If Tsunade wasn't so fond of her, they might've gotten away with trying to _make_ it happen.

She sighed.

Sakura Haruno, the nobody who had had the gall to think someone as sexy and popular as Sasuke Uchiha could ever give her the time of day… she was so fucking stupid.

But it wasn't that Sasuke had decided she wasn't worth it after all – a year ago, she might've broken down because of him – no. It was the romantic thing that killed her. What girl didn't like the attentions of a boy she didn't find repulsive?

' _We think we want something because it tells us it wants us.'_

She hadn't focused on him, she'd focused on the idea of not being alone anymore. He was supposed to fill the dark, empty pit her father had left behind when he'd run off. But like Ino had told her – who'd want _that_ job?

Everything that girl said lately was dripping with sarcasm, so Sakura didn't know whether or not to take her seriously. Sasuke had never told her what he wanted from her, only stood there and basked in the glory of her adoration. She was over that kind of scum. She was done chasing down guys. Fuck them. If they wanted her, they had to make the first move.

 _If_ they wanted her. What a fucking joke.

"For fuck sake." Sakura huffed in frustration as the contents of her locker toppled out when she opened it. She was looking forward to the month-long hiatus before university and had her tertiary education all worked out. It had to be better than high school. No-one from her class was going to her college – she'd checked. So, it was going to be the start of something wonderful. Something better.

"Fuck," she whined again, bending to pick up her meagre belongings. She didn't really have much in her locker anymore, but that horrible biology text book she'd sworn was going to rot in the locker from now until the end of time had a mind of its own. Everything else fell out when it did.

Including a small envelope that she had never seen before.

"Damn."

The last time an unknown slip of paper had made it into her locker, it was Naruto's idea of a chain letter joke.

Sighing, Sakura looked around for a bin out of habit; there had never been any in this hallway.

What the hell was she supposed to do with another chain letter? And who would put one in her locker today of all days. She looked down at it. Her full name was written in beautiful script across the front. Sakura frowned. No way was this from Naruto. What if it was some sick joke from the student body? She turned it over in her hand, again and again. Hm. Maybe… it wouldn't hurt to sneak a peek. If it turned out to be from someone like Ami, well… there was nothing left that girl could say to hurt Sakura now. She'd heard it all.

But, that elegant script didn't look like Ami's, nor the messy handwriting of her posse. Still, it seemed oddly familiar, like she'd seen it on a number of occasions but never had the thought to pay attention to it.

Sakura held her breath as she gently pried the envelope open, not daring to hope it wasn't some kind of idiotic hate mail.

Or some kind of exploding envelope prank.

' _Here goes'._

She let out a flustered, relieved breath when nothing happened and started to read the tidy, oddly formal handwriting.

.

' _Dear Sakura,  
_

 _I apologise first and foremost for the manner and length of this letter. Had I thought to tell you how I feel before now, I fear the rejection would have killed me, therefore I am writing as much of it as I can. I am too cowardly to say this to you in person.  
And let me premise this by stating that I am not looking for anything from you; you owe me nothing. My intention right now, is to convey what I'm feeling into words, and what I'm thinking into something that you can understand – and hopefully accept. If you will bear with me and keep reading, I will try to explain myself.  
_

 _We have sat in the same classes for the majority of the past few years and not a day went by that I wished I had the courage to talk to you, to tell you how I feel about you. We don't talk, we don't hang in the same social circles, and we certainly aren't friends. But I have seen you. I have always seen you, who you are, and who you want to be. You wear your heart and your emotions on your face – how could I not notice you? How could I not love you? How could I not want you?  
You are everything that I have always wanted. The sweet, caring, and strong woman that I have only ever watched from afar. Every smile, every frown, and every tear; how I've wanted to be the one you turned to through them all. How I've wished it were me that you saw, and not __**him**_ _.  
_

 _I'm not asking your forgiveness for being such a coward, only that maybe you'll understand that you weren't as hated or ignored at this school as you thought.  
We won't talk again, and we won't see each other again; more than anything I just want you to be happy. Because you deserve to be happy, and to be loved by someone you know and care about. Someone who can offer you more than a piece of paper and words he's too scared to tell you in person.  
_

 _I have the courage to leave my name now because I will be gone before you find this. Before the mandatory locker cleaning after the ceremony. Please do not think any less of me for not sticking around. I couldn't stand to see the "I'm sorry" and the sad kindness in your eyes, but I will have a lifetime of wondering how it could've gone. As painful as it is, I can live with that.  
Lastly, know that I will always be grateful to have known you, in what little capacity that has been afforded to me. I love you, Sakura Haruno. I will __**always**_ _love you.  
_

 _Yours Devotedly,  
Gaara Sabaku.'_

.

Sakura didn't notice the tear moving slowly down her cheek as she stood, dumbfounded, staring at the elegant script of Gaara Sabaku. He… he _liked_ her. No, it was more than that.

This was not a normal love letter. Not remotely. He wasn't trying to woo her, set her heart aflutter, or ask her on a date. It was weird and formal, but… she kind of liked it. The only problem was that it left her with a sudden sense of urgency she couldn't figure out what to do about. What was she supposed to do now?

Sakura's eyes drifted to that word he had repeated; the one that had made her breath hitch each time.

' _Love.'_

He loved her. He'd loved her for years. And she hadn't suspected a thing. The weird, studious boy that always sat in the back of the classroom, never spoke unless necessary, and always seemed to be off in a world of his own… he loved _her_ , of all people.

Disbelief replaced shock and she leant into her locker, letting it take her weight as she continued to stare at the now familiar handwriting, unable to look away from it.

She'd never given him a second look. He wasn't the kind of guy most people thought about, beyond acknowledging he was quiet and intelligent; Gaara Sabaku never stood out, even with that _hair_ of his.

She'd assumed he hated her, just like everyone else who didn't give her the time of day unless it was to torture her. It wasn't like he'd bullied her. He didn't do anything to her. He never paid attention to her.

Or so she'd thought.

"Sakura-chan!"

Naruto's foghorn voice broke through her reverie and Sakura instinctively smiled. Had it not been for him, she wouldn't have survived the last twelve months. But she didn't have time to dwell; their noisy graduating class sounded like they were closer now. Trust Naruto to run ahead of the crowd.

Sakura gathered up her things hurriedly and turned on her friend. "Have you seen Gaara Sabaku?"

He gave her a quizzical look.

"Comes up to about here." Sakura indicated to about a head taller than herself. "Dark red hair, tattoo on his forehead, and..."

"…and wears too much makeup?"

"Naruto." She growled.

His eyes widened, and he swallowed heavily. She couldn't blame him for being confused. She'd never even mentioned Gaara before now. Why would she?

"Uh, I saw him heading toward the parking lot."

She ran.

Never in her life had she literally run after anyone, but she couldn't help herself. She wasn't suddenly and magically in love with this guy she'd barely noticed before now; it was the pounding of her heart in her ears as her shoes hit the ground that kept her going. She wanted to know what this meant. If Gaara was someone who could love her, then maybe she could learn to love him, too. She _needed_ to know. There was no fear of rejection in this odd little scenario. Not for her, anyway. What did she have to lose?

Sakura quickly spotted him (were students _really_ allowed to drive motorcycles?) and slowed as she neared him. He was fiddling with the front suspension, a frown on his face, and she admired the body work of the bike (a Kawasaki Ninja 650 she believed) before clearing her throat to get Gaara's attention.

His eyes widened slightly at the sight of her, his mouth parting slightly; his eyes darted down to the open letter in her hand. She was suddenly aware of every tick of his eyebrows, every palpitation from the onset of heavy, nervous breathing; his tells were so obvious now that she was actually paying attention to him.

' _Why had I never really looked at him before?'_

He was cute … okay, now that she could see him in the full light of the sun and away from the dankness of the classroom, she could admit he was more than just easy on the eyes. How had she not noticed? Just because he rarely spoke didn't mean he wasn't there to be noticed.

She felt like such a bitch.

Sakura cleared her throat again and smiled. "Uh, hi."

"Hi."

His voice was deep and breathy – she remembered the few times she'd actually paid attention to him when the teachers called on him; it was a sensual voice.

She was the biggest bitch of them all.

"I… um…"

Shit.

"You're leaving early."

Gaara nodded but said nothing. The expectation was all over his face, however.

"You have your college set?" She asked, not sure what she was doing.

"Tōkyō daigaku."

That was across the country. Abbreviated as Todai, the University of Japan was the best in Japan – in all of Asia – so it wasn't cheap. His bike was top line, he was going to an expensive university… he had to be loaded.

' _Sabaku, Sabaku, Sabaku…'_

She had no idea what his parents did for a living.

Guiltily, Sakura realised she also had no idea what kind of things Gaara liked – what was he going to major in? How good a student was he? She knew he was smart because the rare times he did speak up in class, he always seemed to know the answer to every question the teachers could throw at him. They seemed to have an unspoken agreement to make sure to call on the quiet, anti-social at least once a day.

"What about you?"

Sakura blinked heavily, realising he was continuing her line of questioning. She pretended not to notice the mild panic on his face.

"Osaka." That was over three hundred miles away from Tokyo. A bit of a drive.

He nodded thoughtfully. The conversation had stonewalled. She felt disappointed. He really wasn't the talkative type. She needed to get this moving along. Sakura decided to cut to the chase.

"I read your letter," she said. He nodded again, staring at her intently. "Did you mean what you wrote?"

A light blush coloured his pale skin. "Yes."

"Every word?"

He nodded. Sakura smiled and Gaara lowered his eyes, embarrassed.

She found it endearing. "I…um… want to try something. It's a bit out there, but frankly I can't see how else to resolve this problem I'm having. I…um… just hold still."

Manoeuvring around his bike to stand in front of him, Sakura took a deep breath to prepare herself. His eyes widened as she threw her arms around his neck and pulled his head down; his mouth was warm and dry, but that quickly changed when she ran her tongue along his lips, asking for invitation.

Gaara melted into the kiss immediately. She was surprised by her own desire the moment their mouths connected. His arms snaked around her waist and she almost lost herself to the feel of their bodies pressed together. It was like they'd been rehearsing every move; they were completely in synch. Sakura didn't want to let go.

When they had to break apart to breathe, she could only gasp when he pulled her back in for round two. Who knew how long they would stand there, kissing, and just tasting; her desire matched his, it seemed.

She spent no further thought to having wasted so much time pining after Sasuke.

She would never waste her time on someone who didn't love her, again.

.:.

When I write letters they tend to come out more formal than necessary, and I was in that frame of mind when writing Gaara's letter. Sorry. I edited it, and it's a lot better than it was lol.

Lotsa love. :)

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 **R &R**


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